Umami Mart

It was my birthday yesterday!!! I know, I know- when you were little and imagined life at 29, you always wanted to be single, jobless and living with mom and dad. I’m making dreams come true over here!

So how could I have lived these last 29 years never having stepped foot into a Red Lobster? BLASPHEMY! I hang my head in shame- I can’t possibly call myself a legitimate food blogger when I have never had one of their famed cheddar biscuits, can I? No way, jose. Plus, their commercials of gleaming lobsters and perfectly-lit shrimp scampi always makes me drool a little. Don’t deny it!

Last night changed all of this. When my bff Solmaz asked me last week where I wanted to go for my bday dinner, there was only one place that came to mind. You go it. Luckily, Solmaz is the best ever and said, “Whatever you want, sugar. It’s your day.” What a sweetheart. Plus I’m sure she was secretly happy that I didn’t say Manresa, or somewhere super posh like that.

Wait, but Red Lobster isn’t POSH??? Think again. No really, the decor is super hokey, complete with aquatic themed upholstery. It was the perfect place to celebrate the last of my 20s- this is EXACTLY where I wanted to be.

We literally just barely snuck in at 9:30pm- it closed at 10pm. The closest Red Lobster was a 20 minute drive away! Too far! But anyway, we got there with 30 minutes to spare- they were super nice about it, the service was great overall.

My beer came with a chilled pint glass!

Two menus: the regular dinner menu, and the “Mediterranean” menu. There was also a menu of the day’s specials. Awesome!

Before showing up, I had googled around for what to order here. Surprisingly, not much has been written about the place, which I thought was weird. I had twittered for suggestions too, and got a few responses- thanks everyone!

Here’s a full report of my Red Lobster devirginizing bday meal:

Cheddar biscuits! Super buttery, but too salty. Worth the hype? Sure, they were good, but so are the biscuits at Popeye’s. In each bite, you know you’re gaining a 5 pounds, but in the moment, nothing else matters. Solmaz guessed that each biscuit was about 500 calories, but looking at their website’s nutrition chart, it’s only 150. But 350mg sodium- WHOA!

We got the “lobster combo” app. Mushrooms stuffed with crab, lobster and shrimp, and the eggrolls which Kayce had told me to order.

The mushrooms were cheesy and filled with seafood and breadcrumbs. They use fresh mushrooms which exceeded my expectations.

Eggrolls were cheesy and pretty good. Solmaz loved these, as she ate most of them. It came with a side of pico de gallo, which was a refreshing touch.

Shrimp cocktail. Menu boasted that they were “big plump jumbo shrimp,” but out came shrimp that looks like it came out of one of those wheels at the grocery store. Not sure what I was thinking.

We ordered the Ultimate Feast for our entree to share. Solmaz thought that we should go with something “traditional” and this seemed to include all the greatest hits, so we went with this. At $28, it’s the priciest thing on the menu. I deserve only the best on my bday!!!

I went for the lobster tail first. Totally deep fried but tender and flavorful. There’s this place called East Boat that borders Little Italy/Nolita in NYC that I used to go to that deep fried their lobsters. It takes away from the flavors so I prefer them steamed, but I admit it was super juicy.

Their famous shrimp scampi. Basically a tub of butter with a side of shrimp. The commercials make them look so much better! We didn’t even finish this.

Popcorn shrimp- too much breading, completely masking its original identity. We didn’t finish this either.

Snow crab legs. Way too salty. The salt content throughout the meal was pretty astounding- I woke up this morning hella thirsty.

The whole thing came with a side salad, which I appreciated. You know, to make you think you are being a little healthy amidst all the cholestorol and fat you’re willingly ingesting.

We also got a side of grilled fresh asparagus. Again, I appreciated that this was on the menu, although they were a bit rubbery. GREEN!!!

All in all, we pretty much thoroughly cleaned our plates…

…but we were still kinda hungry after all of it. Honestly though we felt like such fatasses after all the butter and fried that we couldn’t possibly even think about eating more. Plus, we felt the runs coming on. But that’s just all a part of the experience right???

All in all, this was exactly what I had hoped for to mark another year of existence. Nothing fancy- just regular food for regular folks. I appreciate that Red Lobster has helped a meat-obsessed America turn to seafood as an alternative- although I think they try too hard to mask the fish flavors with an overdose of salt, butter and oil, which they need to tone down a few notches. But as Paystyle put it, “Hell, where would we take out our prom dates to?”

Next year? Manresa for sure! Ha. Love you Solmaz, thanks for always making me feel like a queen.

– Top 5 gourmet foods that used to be cheap. Polenta is fancy??? (Cracked; via Ricky)

– Miss Conni Convergence April Showers Supper: a nearly sold-out weekend of private 5-course dinners in Brooklyn, served with a side of theater. Should be a blast- $40 tickets left for this Sunday!(Avant Garde Restaurant)

– Underground Food Collective dinners in May: three events to celebrate the bounty of spring with multi-course meals from local purveyors and breweries. A rooftop dinner! Don’t miss it- prices start at $65. (Underground Food Collective)

– Above, the trailer for Food Inc., a new documentary coming to theaters in June, discussing food politics and the government-run industry (i.e. the bad guys). Interviews with Fast Food Nation author Eric Schlosser and The Omnivore Dilemma‘s Michael Pollan. After this and Meatless Monday, I’m becoming one of those people, aren’t I?

The Umami Reader brings you the freshest food news every Tuesday, however outdated it may be. Please email links to what you’re reading to umamimart@gmail.com. Follow UM on Twitter for more 24/7.

Drove down to Palm Springs last weekend for Sashe‘s fabulous wedding weekend. It was to be a fun-filled weekend of old friends, celebrating love, excellent food, tanning by the pool, and dancin, Dancin, DANCIN!

The bad news?? Getting there. The only thing standing in the way between me and my Palm Springs tan was the Interstate 5. Ugh. Worst freeway in the world: colorless, sceneryless and a total bore of a drive.

I hadn’t driven down the 5 in years though, so before I left I googled, “Where to eat off the 5.” A Chowhound thread pointed me to the Apricot Tree, which supposedly made a kickass apricot shake. Done and done. When I saw the awesome sign for it just north of stinky Harris Ranch, I turned off the highway. Never mind it was 10am- I wanted to try that shake, and nothing was going to stop me.

Check out the restaurant! It’s like a chateau!

As the exterior suggests, the inside is huge, with really kookie decor. Old tin lunchboxes lined the ceiling; their accompanying thermoses were displayed in glass cases. The menu was typical diner food, and the breakfast looked awesome.

Random movie paraphernalia all over the restaurant- like FABIO!!!

I asked for an apricot shake to go. Here’s the guy making it for me to order.

He told me that it was vanilla ice cream, milk and frozen apricots. They harvest the apricots from the summertime and freeze them. Ohhh yahhh!!!

It was a bit sweet, but well worth the stop. How many places in this world serves an apricot shake??? So next time you’re taking that boreathon of a drive down the 5 between the Bay Area and LA, take a pit stop at the Apricot Tree- you won’t miss the sign, trust me.

Apricot Tree
46272 W. Panoche Road
Firebaugh, CA 93622
T: 559.659.2028

Food for Thought Film Festival
April 18, 2009
1pm- 8:30pm
Columbia University Medical Center Alumni Auditorium
650 West 168th Street
Between Broadway and Ft. Washington Avenue

Directions:
A, C, 1 to 168th St. Station

Schedule:
1:00pm – Welcome and opening address by Manhattan Borough President Scott Stringer

1:30pm – Screening: Farm to Cafeteria: A Red Hook Lunch followed by Asparagus: Stalking the American Life

2:45pm – Post screening discussion led by Directors Anne de Mare, Kirsten Kelly with Kimberly Vargas

3:45pm – Screening: New Amsterdam Market, Hotbread Kitchen & Eating Alaska

5:00pm – Post screening discussion with Karen Washington

6:00pm – Screening: Trailer for Fresh followed by FLOW

7:30pm – Post screening discussion with Tara Collins and Rachael Richardson

My friend Kiwa forwarded me this video- it’s chock-full of visuals and informative stats of why we should moderate our meat intake (without getting all super granola on us). This is something we’ve known for a while, but I haven’t been able to do it, have you? So why not cut it out completely on Mondays? Meatless Monday- let’s give it a whirl! I’m gonna start next week!

For more info, check out their website.

READ ALL 6 PARTS OF THE TAP THIS HOME BREWING GUIDE HERE

Now that you have gathered all of the equipment and ingredients needed, as described in the first post, you are ready to make your beer. You should plan on starting on a day that you have at least 3-4 hours of free time. You want to be able to relax, take your time, drink a few beers, and enjoy the smells and sounds of the process.

One of the things I love most about making beer, is you get to touch and smell the ingredients throughout the process. One of the most satisfying feelings is that in the end you will be able to recognize all of these ingredients in the final product. It’s really amazing because before I brewed my first batch of beer, I could never smell and taste the different ingredients as I can now whether I order a beer out, or am drinking one of my own. It honestly elevated my entire beer drinking experience, so I highly recommend you trying it out at least one time.

Step 1 – Partial Mash (Steeping Grains)
As I mentioned in the first post, this step can be skipped if you are brewing a beer with all malt extract and no grains. Most beginner kits use all malt extract, at least from what I have seen, and they still make good beer. However, you will see that the process of the partial mash is not very difficult and will add great flavor and complexity to the finished beer.

1.) Fill your large pot with about 3 gallons of filtered or bottled water.
2.) Heat the water to somewhere between 140 and 165 degrees.

3.) Put your grains into a cheese cloth grain bag and when the water reaches the desired temperature, turn off the heat, put your grains into the pot, slap the lid on, and leave it alone for 35-45 minutes or as specified in your recipe.

4.)When the time is up, take off the lid, and slowly dip the bag in and out of the pot about 10 times, then throw your grains away. Now you have a grain tea. Do not ring or squeeze out the grain bag as, this will release tannins into your beer which will give it a nasty astringent flavor.

Step 2 – The Boil (Wart)
The next part (or first part if you are only using malt extract) is boiling the malt and hops which is called a wart.

1) Heat up your pot until just before boiling and shut off the heat.
2) Add your malt extract and first addition of hops as specified from your recipe. Malt extract can be dry or liquid (the liquid seems to taste better to me). As you will see, hops are added throughout the boil at different times. A typical beer is boiled for 60 minutes. Hops added during the beginning of the process are called bittering hops because they add bitterness to the beer. Hops added toward the end of the boil (last 15 min) are finishing hops and add aroma to the beer.

Adding liquid malt extract

Simcoe Hops (60 min. start of the boil)

3.) Now fire up your pot on super high heat to a rolling boil. It is very important to reach a rolling boil in order to release oils from your hops and coagulate unwanted proteins. You can see in the pictures that I use a separate higher BTU burner to make beer instead of my stove top. This is not to say you can not use your stovetop, but if you have crappy weak burners like me, I would suggest a separate and more powerful heating unit.

NOTE: Keep your eye on the WART at all times to prevent boil overs.

4.) Boil for a full 60 minutes while adding hops as described on your recipe sheet. For my IPA, I am adding 3 types of hops at 4 different time increments. This is the recipe I followed:
– 1 oz Simcoe Hops 60 min. (start of the boil)
– 1 oz Amarillo Hops 30 min. + clearing agent (halfway)
– 0.5 oz Cascade Hops 15 min. (Finishing hops)
– 0.5 oz Cascade Hops 5 min. (Finishing hops)

The Wart at full boil

Amarillo Hops (30 min)

Clearing Agent (30 min)

Cascade Hops (finishing 1/2 Oz at 15 and 5 min)

5.) When the 60 minutes is up turn off the heat, put the lid on, and put your pot in an ice bath to cool for about 45 minutes. NOTE: This is the point where you need to start being sanitary. Your wart was boiled which killed everything harmful in it and you want to keep it that way. Keep the lid on and do not fuss with it too much.

Step 3 – Moving to the Primary Firmentor and Pitching Yeast
1.) Sanitize your primary fermentation vessel, lid, and airlock. You can do this by using some bleach mixed with water and then rinse it out or by using a sanitizing solution which does not require rinsing. The majority of problems in making beer come from not being sanitary. Since you are creating the ideal environment for nasty bacteria to grow you need to be obsessively clean or you may end up with some gross flavors.

2.) Fill your Primary Fermentor with 2 and ½ gallons of cool filtered or bottled water.

3.) Pour 1/3 of your wart into the Fermentor with the water.

4.) Pitch the yeast. I am using liquid yeast that is pitchable. I find it is easier and makes better beer then dry yeast. If you are using dry yeast you can follow the instructions to activate before you pitch it into the wart. If you are using a pitchable liquid variety like I am, all you need to do is take it out of the fridge when you start your wart, then shake it up and dump it into the fermentor when ready.

White Labs Pitchable California Ale Yeast

Pitching Yeast

5.) Vigorously pour the remaining contents of the wart into the Fermenting Vessel. It is important to do this in order to aerate the wart and mix the yeast without having to stir or shake.

Rest of the wart

WOOOOT! Your beer will start to ferment over the next 15 hours or so and will be ready to move to the secondary fermentation vessel in 5-6 days. In the next post I will cover fermentation, calculating specific gravity and alcohol content using a hydrometer, and moving to your secondary fermentation vessel.

Cheers!

-CJ

This week we’re going to have a little fun during Happy Hour as we set aside the history lessons and cocktail lore, along with all notions of cocktail purism and snobbery, to indulge in a little cocktail hedonism. For those who gave up chocolate for Lent, you can take pride in your perseverance, for this should be a special treat for you. And even if your moral compass has been discarded long ago, today’s cocktail should still be indulgent enough to make you feel at least a little guilty. Today I’m sharing with you a devilish combo of chocolate and heat which I call Chocolate Chipotle Chicanery.

Here’s the how-to:

Chocolate Chipotle Chicanery
1 oz. chile pepper-infused vodka
2 oz. creme de cacao
1 oz. chocolate cream liqueur (I used E&J Cask & Cream Chocolate Temptation)
1 tsp. chipotle adobo sauce (sauce from canned chipotles)
Chocolate powder for rimming

Tools: shaker, strainer
Glass: cocktail

Moisten the rim of a chilled cocktail glass and dip in chocolate powder. Place all ingredients along with ice in cocktail shaker and shake until your hand is numb from frostbite. Strain into glass and enjoy.

I should offer a word of caution for those who can’t take the heat (don’t worry, you can stay in the kitchen): this cocktail has a strong kick of heat from the infused vodka and chipotle, which is how I prefer it, but if you’re averse to such heat then simply tone down the amount of chipotle you use, or just use plain non-infused vodka instead.

So you’re probably asking, “what’s so chicanerous about this drink?” In short, nothing–at least not upon a superficial glance. However, it is more than just a catchy sounding name. To be sure, the drink itself is not the essence of chicanery as it is the conduit of it. In other words, it is the begetter of bad behavior for those who select to savoringly sip this sinningly sweet and seductive spirit.

Gentleman, take heed when tippling this tonic as it will only tempt total tomfoolery. Ladies, beware when boozing this baneful brew, as devilish debauchery will duly develop!

Come back every Wednesday for Paystyle’s weekly Happy Hour column.

Photography by Vanessa Bahmani.

BEER WARS
TOMORROW, Thurs. 4/16
8pm

Go behind the scenes of the craft-brewing industry with a nationwide screening of Anat Baron’s documentary, Beer Wars. After the screening, Ben Stein hosts a panel featuring brewers from Dogfish Head, Stone, and New Century Brewing Company. Visit fathomevents.com for participating theaters and ticket reservations.(via Paystyle and Tasting Table)

*I totally forgot to post this yesterday- my bad! Apologies for being MIA lately, it’s been a crazy few weeks but I’m back and need to refocus! Pic above from CJ’s Facebook, not sure what it’s all about but it’s HILARIOUS. The UM Reader will be back next Tuesday for more, I promise!

I rebattled a cake again this weekend. Though I didn’t tell you about the initial trial, I made an angel food cake two weekends ago. I had a little get together with friends, and made a fresh strawberry tart (sorry, no pic). For the filling, I made custard, and the recipe called for 10 egg yolks.

Left with 10 egg whites, I thought about making macarons but was out of almond flour, so I googled around recipes asking for loads of egg whites. Though making a homemade face mask recipe was intriguing, I decided to make an angel food cake. I followed Alton Brown’s recipe, since he is so scientific and good at many things.

Alton’s recipe called for:
– 1 3/4 cups sugar
– 1/4 teaspoon salt
– 1 cup cake flour, sifted
– 12 egg whites (the closer to room temperature the better)
– 1/3 cup warm water
– 1 teaspoon orange extract, or extract of your choice
– 1 1/2 teaspoons cream of tartar.

Since this recipe was the first result on the i n t e r n e t, I followed it. When using egg whites, I was always told to use a bowl without a drop or hint of water. Any water in the bowl will ruin meringue. However, Alton’s recipe includes 1/3 cup of warm water which was to be mixed with egg whites in the beginning. I was very skeptical, but I followed it anyways. I was supposed to whip it until medium peak, but after 10 minutes of high speed whipping, nothing happened. It became white, but very runny.

A couple of minutes later, still nothing, and I concluded 1/3 cup of water ruined it. I added dry ingredients and baked it anyways. It tasted ok, but something was different. It was more like sweet bread than an angel food cake. I think meringue still had so much liquid left in it, hence the cake was moist, but something was off.

So this past weekend was luckily rainy and crappy outside, so I decided to give it another try. This time, I followed one of the recipes on Tastespotting. This recipe was very similar to Alton’s, sans warm water, which gave me more hope.

It called for:
– 1 cup sifted cake flour
– 1 1/2 cups sugar, divided
– 1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
– 2 tablespoons instant espresso granules or 2 tablespoons instant coffee granules
– 2 tablespoons hot water
– 12 large egg whites
– 1 teaspoon cream of tartar
– 1/4 teaspoon salt
– 1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract. I didn’t use cinnamon, just espresso.

Here is the process:
1. Sift flour and half of the sugar 4 times. I did it, but I don’t know the difference, other than amessier counter top. Mixing flour and sugar together makes it easy to incorporate with meringue.
2. Mix egg whites and cream of tartar, whip it until soft peak, then add sugar gradually. Whip it until stiff peak is formed.
3. Add vanilla, then flour mixture little by little. Using a spatula, mix them gently without losing air in egg whites. I added espresso around here, and added more flour mixture. Incorporate everything well, and pour them into an ungreased tube pan. I don’t have angel food pan, which comes with three tips, that keeps them from touching the surface when cooling (see below) but it’s totally not necessary.
4. Bake it in 350 degree oven for about 35 minutes.
5. When it’s done, take it out of the oven, and invert it. The easiest way is to do is to stick the pan into a wine bottle like the image below.

By inverting, it doesn’t deflate with the weight of the cake itself. Leave it for like 2 hours and it’s done.

Since it’s ungreased, it’s a bit tricky to take the cake out of the pan. Ever-so-gently loosen the cake from the pan. This looks like real angel food cake, doesn’t it?

It’s totally airy, just the way it should be.

It tasted heavenly. No wonder it is called “angel” food cake.

When I brought this to work, Ayagwa asked, “Did you add espresso to angel food cake mix?” I can’t believe her. My baking is about 96% from scratch. I use puff pastry and phyllo store bought, but that’s about it! I should tell her I used cool whip for her wedding cake.